The Gift of Giving

By Gary Wickert

Christmas is a magical time of year. It means different things to different people. Candles burning low, mistletoe, snow, smiling faces, Christmas lights in the neighborhood, family gatherings, our favorite ornaments, and even ignoring our diet for a week or two. No matter our faith, denomination, or persuasion, all but a bitter few enjoy Christmas trees, the chance of snow, time off from work, holiday college football, downtown decorations and lights, hot chocolate, office parties, presents, Christmas cards, snuggling, ice skating, Christmas shopping, Christmas movies on the Hallmark Channel, ugly Christmas sweaters, Bailey's, and holiday cheer.

For the secular, Christmas is a time of joy, food, family, and friends. Atheists represent less than 3% of the population, but many of them grew up in a family which commemorated the Reason for the Season. For them the "Holiday Season" is comfortable tradition – a time for renewal, feasting, and tidings of comfort and joy unrelated to the birth of Christ. Many enjoy a Christmas tree.

American Jews – some of whom are intermarried with Christians – have the option of assimilating, by participating in many elements of the dominant culture, including putting up a big, beautiful Christmas tree like Jewish actress Natalie Portman does. The Christmas holidays intersect with the Jewish Sabbath, or Shabbat, Rosh Hashanah (Jewish New Year), Yom Kippur (Day of Atonement), and Hanukkah (Festival of Lights). During Christmas, even Jews can heave a sigh of relief, slow down, and stop.

For Christians, Christmas is the celebration of the ultimate Gift - Christ’s humble birth, the joyful anticipation of His sacrifice on Good Friday, and the fulfillment of God’s greatest promise on Easter morning. After all, the word “Christmas” itself is a reference to Christ’s body. It is a particularly joyful time because the world stops for us. We look forward to a "Merry Christmas" from a stranger passing in the street, a candle-lit church service, and singing hymns we learned as a child and still know by heart. It is a magical time for people of faith.

We all celebrate Christmas differently, and for different reasons. However, there is one aspect of Christmas that we all have in common – one aspect of the Holidays that we all share and celebrate in the same way and benefit from equally. Christmas is a time when most people’s thoughts turn to giving. It is no coincidence that one-third of all U.S. giving happens in December and 22% of all charitable donations occur in the final three days of the year. Giving pays the highest rate of return of any investment one can make. What's more, the gift of giving is a gift you give to yourself. It is the best Christmas present, and only you can give it. True joy lies in the selfless act of giving without expecting something in return.

The joy of receiving is short-lived. Our lives are richer when we share, and true inner joy comes from helping others. Giving provides an intrinsic reward that’s far more valuable than the gift itself. As Mahatma Gandhi said, “To find yourself, lose yourself in the service of others.” Both science and human history confirm that achieving meaning, fulfillment, and happiness in life comes from making others happy. Giving provides an opportunity to look beyond ourselves and discover a much bigger world around us. A greater perspective is derived by stepping outside of our comfortable boundaries and venturing into the world of others. Giving kindles self-esteem and brings happiness. It makes us wiser and stronger. A Chinese proverb says: “If you always give, you will always have.” If you find yourself feeling unhappy or empty, try making someone else happy and experience what happens.

Even in Judaism, the holidays are a time of selfless volunteerism and the time-honored practice of "mitzvot" – charitable deeds that Christians like me are expected – but often neglect – to do in the spirit of Christmas. The Hebrew word for giving to the needy, "tzedakah", although commonly translated as "charity," more accurately means "justice." The great codifier of Jewish law, Maimonides, formulated eight levels of giving, correlating to the degree to which the giver is sensitive to the needs and feelings of the recipient, and ranging from giving grudgingly to giving anonymously, where the recipient does not know the giver, and vice-versa.

I am reminded of a parable about a woman who was traveling alone in the mountains and found a precious stone in a stream. The next day she met another traveler who was hungry; the woman opened her bag to share her food. The hungry traveler saw the precious stone and asked the woman to give it to him. She did so without hesitation. The traveler left, rejoicing in his great fortune. He knew the stone was worth enough to give him security for a lifetime. But a few days later he came back to return the stone to the woman.

“I’ve been thinking,” he said. “I know how valuable the stone is, but I give it back in the hope that you can in its place give me something even more precious. Give me what you have within you that enabled you to give me the stone.”

The very first Christmas gifts were given by wise men from the East. They travelled great distances, across difficult and dangerous terrain, in order to worship the newborn Christ Child and present him with extraordinary and expensive gifts. Your gift needn't be as lavish, however, because a little can do a lot. In the New Testament, a little boy gave Jesus his lunch – five loaves and two fish. And with it, Jesus fed 5000 people. The two mites the poor widow put into the Temple Treasury may have looked very small in the eyes of those nearby, but Christ said that she put in more than all the other contributors combined. She gave until it hurt.

This Christmas Season, try paying for the meal of someone behind you in the drive-through line. Fill a shopping cart full of toys and donate them to Toys for Tots. Leave a homemade treat for your mailman. Spend time with the elderly or homebound. Be a Dollar Store angel by leaving $1 bills in random spots in the dollar store. Visit children in the hospital. Give to the bell ringers at the mall. Leave an extravagant tip for your server. Take your giving to a new level. My family volunteers at the Milwaukee Rescue Mission every Christmas, but this year I am joining its Board of Directors, and I can't wait to become a part of their mission. Volunteer your time; serve others; give until it hurts.

Winston Churchill famously said that, "We make a living by what we get. We make a life by what we give." Whether you spend Christmas celebrating the birth of Jesus in church with family or seeing a double-header at the Ultra-Screen, the real joy of Christmas is celebrated and enjoyed in the heart. At the end of life, what really matters is not what we bought, but what we built; not what we got, but what we gave. It could be that by observing you, somebody will learn what the Grinch eventually learned, “Maybe Christmas does not come from a store; Christmas, perhaps, means a little bit more.”